


Bellamy, do you love me?

by SlainBellamy



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Archa (OC), Bellarke AU Week, Bellarke Fic Week, Confessions, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Forehead Kisses, Grounders (The 100) - Freeform, Jealousy, Kai (OC) - Freeform, Kissing, Love, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Post-Episode: s04e13 Praimfaya, Post-Season/Series 04, Post-Season/Series 04 AU, Praimfaya | Radiation Wave, Relationship(s), Secret Relationship, Shooting, Sinnek (OC), Survival, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:46:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 20,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25013392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlainBellamy/pseuds/SlainBellamy
Summary: Its been 6 years and 7 days since Bellamy left Clarke on earth. She's been radioing him everyday to keep herself sane. One day, she decides that she's going to admit her feelings to him, and unbeknownst to her, he hears. When he makes it back down to earth and she meets his girlfriend, their relationship goes downhill. But with new problems on the horizon, and new enemies to face, can they work together to save their people, again?ON HIATUS UNTIL OCTOBER CAUSE YK LIFE
Relationships: Abby Griffin/Marcus Kane, Abby Griffin/Raven Reyes, Bellamy Blake & Clarke Griffin, Bellamy Blake & Madi, Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Bellamy Blake/Echo, Bellamy Blake/John Murphy, Bellamy Blake/Octavia Blake, Bellamy Blake/Raven Reyes, Clarke Griffin & Madi, Clarke Griffin/Raven Reyes, Emori/John Murphy (The 100), John Murphy/Raven Reyes, Madi & John Murphy (The 100), Monty Green/Harper McIntyre, Octavia Blake & Clarke Griffin, Octavia Blake & Clarke Griffin & Raven Reyes, Octavia Blake/Lincoln
Comments: 37
Kudos: 97





	1. The Radio Message

**Clarke:**

“Bellamy, if you can hear me, if you're alive, it's been 2,199 days since Praimfaya. I don't know why I still do this every day. Maybe it's my way of staying sane, not forgetting who I am. Maybe it's because there's a chance I’ll never see you again. Maybe it's because I never got to tell you I love you.”

I’d never actually admitted my feelings out loud before, not even to myself. But today seemed different. I guess it just felt like the right day to say it.

“Earth is still just as lonely without you, and I miss you and everyone else so much. Well, I guess that's all for today, I’ll be back tomorrow same time”.

I put the radio down and sighed. I’d never figured out if they could hear my messages, and if they could, I’d probably just announced my love to all 7 of them. At this point I didn’t care, it’d been safe for them to come down for over a year now, and they hadn’t. I had lost all hope of ever seeing them again, of ever seeing the man I love again. Before I could completely lose myself in my thoughts, Madi came rushing into our makeshift house with a bucket of fish.

“Clarke, look at everything I caught today! It has to be the start of mating season if there's this many fish in the river” she yelled as she chucked the bucket my way.

“Easy soldier” I laughed, “You’re going to get me wet!”

Besides from my radio, Madi was the only thing that had kept me sane these past 6 years. I’d found her down by that very river a few months after Praimfaya. She was a nightblood like me, that's how we’d both survived. I’m so glad she was here, the idea of isolation madness didn’t seem fun.

“So, how was your radio call with Bellamy today?” she asked, tilting her head like a little puppy.

“Same as always I guess, me telling them everything that's happened today, then getting absolutely no response”

“Are you sure that’s all that happened?” she said with a smirk on her face. When she nudged my shoulder, I realised that she had overheard everything I had said.

“Well, I guess there might have been a small declaration of love in there as well”

“Small! You just told Bellamy you loved him, this is NOT a small matter Clarke”

“Yeah, I guess you're right. How about we have extra dessert to celebrate tonight…”

“Sounds great, I love you Clarke”

“I love you too Madi.”


	2. Mixed Feelings

**Bellamy:**

“... Maybe it's because I never got to tell you I love you”. Clarke’s words rang in my head. I couldn’t believe that those words had actually come out of her mouth. For the past 8 months listening to her radios had become like a drug to me. I needed it. I needed her. But she’d never said that before. I stared at the radio, unable to comprehend what had just happened. I was so deep in thought that I didn’t even notice Echo come in.

“There you are. Did you hear what Raven found?” she said. I jumped, and threw the radio back onto the table, praying she didn’t hear the message as well. She couldn’t know about this. No way in hell would I let her find out. Who knows what she would do if she did. “Is everything alright? Did we get another message from Clarke?” she asked.

“Oh, yeah, just the same as every day. She misses us, she wants us to come back, nothing we haven’t heard already” I replied back quickly. Too quickly. Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. I was a good liar, but she was an azgeda spy. I knew she’d see right through me.

“What were you saying about Raven?” I said, changing the subject before she worked anything out.

“Oh, she found out a way to get back to Earth”

“She WHAT? Really?”

“Yep”

“Why didn't you tell me this sooner _?_ ” I shouted as I rushed out of the radio room. Echo followed close behind. “Well you seemed a little _occupied_ ,” she muttered. Echo was an amazing woman, one of the few people who had kept me sane for the past 6 years, but sometimes I just feel like we’re too different to ever be happy together. I know they say opposites attract, but was there such a thing as _too_ opposite? Clarke on the other hand… No, I had to stop thinking about her. It wasn’t fair on Echo.

Ignoring her snide comment, I continued running to the control room. My heart was racing. Was there actually a possibility of seeing Clarke again? Of holding her in my arms, whispering in her ear… stop it, Bellamy. I shook my head, trying to get the images out of my head.

“Bellamy! Did Echo tell you the exciting news?” Harper smiled at me as I walked into the room.

“She did,” I grinned back. Raven was staring intently at the main computer screen while Murphy, Emori, Monty, and Harper were crowded around her. As she worked, Harper explained to me that they had spotted a satellite that had finally floated close enough for us to hopefully make “a little visit with the last of our own fuel. 

“If we can time it right, then we should be able to get somebody there to take the fuel supply back to the ring,” Harper finished.

“What if it doesn’t have much fuel left?”

“Well, then we’re going to have to spend the rest of our life in space eating algae with absolutely no hope of ever returning to Earth,” Murphy chimed in, negative as always.

“Hey, my algae soup isn’t that bad!” Monty laughed.

“Yes, it is,” Murphy and Raven said in unison.

“Okay… It looks like we have about fifteen minutes until the satellite comes close enough to us” Raven told us, carefully reading through her calculations.

“Did anything interesting happen on Clarke’s radio today?” Emori asked, turning to me.

“Um, no. Just the usual.”


	3. SpaceWalker

**Emori:**

“Did anything interesting happen on Clarke’s radio today?” I asked, turning to Bellamy.

“Um, no. Just the usual,” he mumbled, looking away.

“Oh, okay,” I said.

I sat down at the side of the room, next to John, waiting for Raven to tell us what to do next. 

“So. Are you happy we’ll be going back down?” I asked him. He gave me one of those small half-smiles of his. He was silent for a few moments.

“I don’t know. It feels a little weird after all of the time we’ve spent here. But I do know that I’ll be glad to have a little more privacy,” John smirked at me. I laughed before I could stop myself, earning a startled glance from Raven.

“John! Not here,” I giggled. 

He leaned over to kiss me, but before he could, Monty looked up from his computer.

“Okay guys, we’ve got about 7 minutes before we align ourselves with the satellite, so someone’s going to have to suit up and get ready to make the journey”

“Well then Raven, it’s your time to shine,” Harper said as she laughed.

“Unfortunately, I can’t” Raven replied back, “I have to stay here to make sure the ship is at the right angle, and control the fuel, so someone else will have to do it”

“I can do it,”

I could hardly believe I’d just said that. Everyone's heads turned swiftly in my direction. Their eyes were wide open as if they’d just seen a ghost. It's okay, I reassured myself. I’d only volunteered to spacewalk, it's not like it was a death mission. Hopefully not, anyway, if things went to plan. 

“Are you sure Emori? I mean, you’ve never done anything like this before,” John said to me.

“Yes, I’ll be fine...suit me up!” I laughed nervously, trying to break the silence that had fallen over everyone. Raven led me into the airlock and handed me a suit to climb into. I put it on and she helped me to adjust my helmet. After 5 minutes of instructions flooding my brain, I was ready to go. Ready to go out _there_. I was still so surprised that I’d actually volunteered. 

As I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves, Raven threw her arms around me. 

“Good luck out there. I know you can do it,” she whispered to me. I smiled back wanly. 

“Thanks.”

As she walked away, I could feel my heart beating louder and louder. The doors slowly slid open, throwing me into the dark abyss.

I gasped as the blackness engulfed me. Everything was so… peaceful. Calm. Still.

It took me a few moments to regain myself, and I quickly grabbed one of the handles on the outside of the ship. The stars were so bright, brighter than I’d ever seen them before. I could understand why Raven loved being out here so much. 

Focus, Emori. I had a job to do. I took a deep breath and looked out at the satellite. It was close enough.

1, 2, 3!

I pushed as hard as I could against the handle and felt myself float away from the metal ship. Out into the black nothingness. I flailed, not used to being so helpless. Okay, the satellite was getting closer and closer. Come on, Emori. I just had to make sure to grab the handles on the side… Yes! 

“Okay, Emori, now if you can get to the door I can open it for you to get in,” Raven’s voice rang in my ears. Right, the door. If i could just… grab the next handle… There we go. I clung to the handgrip as tightly as I could. The metal hatch slowly slid open and I threw myself inside. I was in! I was really in! Now all I had to do was get the fuel and get back. 

“Great! Now, see if you can find a canister of rocket fuel. It should be in a red canister as it's an American satellite. Tell me if you find it,” Right, red canister, red canister. I desperately looked around, panicking about the amount of oxygen had left. I knew Raven had calculated it right, but that didn’t stop me from being paranoid. 

There it was, right at the back of the satellite. I floated forward and grasped it in my hands. I clipped it onto my suit for safekeeping; there’s no way I’m losing our only chance of getting back down to our home.

“Okay Raven, the canister is secured. Pull me back in quickly, I’ve only got 20% of oxygen left” I said softly, trying not to breathe in extra air.

“Roger that” she replied.

Nothing happened. 

“Raven? Nothing’s happening?”

“I’m trying, it’s not working,” Raven was starting to sound frantic. What was going on? Was it broken? How was I meant to get back to the ship? My heart banged in my chest but I forced myself to breathe shallowly.

When I was younger I always believed that I would die of old age, surrounded by the people I love, happy. At the rate things were going now, that would definitely not be the case.


	4. Hysteria

**Murphy:**

My heart was in my throat. There was no way this was happening. I couldn’t lose her. I know what it’s like to think that someone you love is going to die. When we left Clarke behind on Earth, a wave of depression had hit us all. Except for this time around, Emori was the one on the brink of death. I couldn’t react for a split second, I was frozen. And then it hit me.

“RAVEN! DO SOMETHING!” I yelled. 

“I’m trying but it’s jammed. The rope won’t move so I can’t pull her back in.” she snapped back. She looked almost as worried as I did. Emori is her friend, I know she wouldn’t want harm to come to her, right? I know that I have a complicated history with both of them, but would Raven really go as far as to want Emori dead?

_***** flashback to their second year on the ring *****_

I walked with Emori into what we had made our bedroom. I’m pretty sure it used to be Guard’s quarters, but considering we don’t have guards anymore it didn’t make a lot of difference. As she opened the door I saw Raven sitting on our bed,

“Hey, Raven, what are you doing here?” I asked, a little puzzled.

“Murphy, could I please talk to you? Alone,” She added, glancing uncomfortably at Emori.

“Oh, sure,” Emori said, looking questioningly at me as she walked out, shutting the door behind her. 

“So what did you want to talk about?” I sat down next to Raven on the bed.

“I… um,” Raven stuttered, looking down at the ground. Was she… blushing?

“Just tell me, Raven.” She took a deep breath.

“I think I’m in love with you,” She blurted out.

“You… what?”

“I love you, Murphy. I fell in love with you almost three years ago. And… I know it's not fair on Emori, but I just had to tell you.”

I didn’t know what to say. Raven… loves me? Even after what I did to her? I crippled her, for god’s sake. How could she ever love someone like me? 

Before I could stop myself, I instinctively leaned forward. 

_*back in the present*_

Emori Emori Emori Emori Emori Emori Emori Emori. 

All I could think about was her. Would she make it back alive? What would I do without her? How would I survive without her? I wouldn’t. She was often the only thing keeping me alive. 

I gazed helplessly out of the window, almost screaming with frustration. Why does life have it in for me? I’m finally somewhat happy and the universe has to go and screw that up for me.

Except, maybe this is the universe's way of helping me, with my ongoing Raven and Emori debate. Emori has no idea about any of it, but I could never tell either of them I’m constantly debating between the two of them in my mind… Shut up Murphy, honestly. This isn’t the time. I peered over at Emori’s monitor. 12% of oxygen left. My heart was beating faster by the second. I looked up at Raven, who’s trying everything she can to save her. Tears were forming in her eyes as she played with every button on the panel.

“Hey, it’s going to be okay. Just breathe, and think. I know you’ll get this” I reassured her as I rubbed her shoulders. She wrapped her arms around me and brought me into a tight embrace. 

“This is all my fault, Murphy. I’m so sorry. She’s going to die out there and it’s all my fault. I should be out there, not her.”

I began to rub her hair to calm her down, letting her head fall against my chest. 

“She’s going to be fine Raven, you can’t blame yourself for this.” I tried to smile at her, tears building in my eyes too. I didn’t know if my comforting words were for her or to try and convince myself everything would be alright. She looked up at me, and I could see the guilt in her eyes. I felt awful, that now I couldn’t do anything to save either of them. 

As I wiped my eyes, I saw Raven’s darting towards the rope mechanisms. Her brow furrowed, and I could tell she was coming up with a solution. I could almost see the cogs turning in that brilliant brain of hers.

“That’s it, I’ve got it!”


	5. Coming Home

**Raven:**

As I stood wrapped in Murphy’s arms, my tears soaking into his shirt, it came to me.

“That’s it, I’ve got it!” 

I ran over to the rope mechanisms and reversed the ropes so Emori was pushed further out. My mind was racing. I know it seemed crazy: Murphy definitely thought so based on the look that he gave me. But when the rope reached its full length, it began to withdraw and reel Emori in. I let out a huge breath that, frankly, I didn’t know I was holding in. I hoped for everyone’s sake that she had enough oxygen left to make it back. 

“Come on Emori!” Murphy had seen what I did and was now standing at the window, muttering. I could feel the tension in the room; everyone was praying for her to be okay. She was getting closer and closer. I yanked down the lever to open the airlock door, just in time for her to float in. The door to the airlock was then quickly shut as Murphy and I ran into her. When we pulled her helmet off, everything was silent. I froze. Was she really dead?

Murphy stood next to her, gazing helplessly at her face. Tears started to run down his cheeks. Then Emori’s chest rose slightly. Did I imagine that? No, there it was again. Murphy looked at me, his eyes filled with hope through the tears. I knelt down and put my ear next to her mouth. Yes, there were definitely a few soft, shaky breaths coming from her. Thank God.

Now I knew that Emori was safe and that we had our rocket fuel, I could focus on getting the drop ship prepared. I carefully unclipped and took the rocket fuel, leaving Murphy to be the one she woke up to she was still knocked out from oxygen deprivation. I mean, nothing we haven’t dealt with before, considering we all almost died the same way when we got up here. After 6 long years, we were finally going home.

Bellamy and Echo had seen Emori make it back safely and were already waiting for me in the control room. I knew they’d both be eager to help, as they wanted to get down possibly even more than I did. Echo didn’t particularly like space, growing up on the ground and all, and I’m pretty sure Bellamy just wanted to see Clarke again.

“So, what do we need to do to get the ship ready?” he asked.

“I have the rocket fuel here, so we just need to fill up the ship and get our suits on. We can leave as soon as that’s done” I said back with a smile on my face. I couldn’t believe we were really going back down. I left the two of them to fill up the ship and went to find Monty and Harper. They both knew it was time:I found them hastily getting all of our suits together. When we returned to the control room we found Emori, awake, and Murphy.

“Oh thank god you’re okay” I gasped as I pulled her into a hug. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that. This is all my fault.”

“Raven, it’s alright,” she said, holding back tears. “I’m fine now and that’s all that matters.” I didn’t want to think about what would’ve happened if she had died out there. Despite her being Murphy’s girlfriend, she was still one of my closest friends. 

“Come on you two, we should get ready to go” laughed Bellamy, already ready to leave.

We then proceeded to put on our spacesuits. This was the moment we’d all been waiting for. The moment we never knew would actually happen.

As we all began to take our seats in the dropship, my palms began to sweat. I’d manned various ships so many times before. I knew how to do this. However, that didn’t make me any less nervous. All of my friends were counting on me, even Clarke back down on Earth. 

“Hey Raven, you’ve got this. okay?” Murphy reassured me. I nodded and turned my head back to the dashboard.

“Okay everybody, prepare for take-off. In 3,2,1!”

It felt amazing to detach from the ark and fly through space. We began to pick up speed; everything was going just as it should do. We were soaring through space. The rocket shook a little as we entered the Earth’s atmosphere, but the entire trip went incredibly smoothly. 

We lit up the sky like stars.

**Madi:**

At first when the sky lit up, I thought it was just me seeing things, imagining what it would be like for Bellamy and the others to come down from space. But it was very clear that Clarke had seen it too. We looked at each other, unable to believe what we had just witnessed. It had looked just like an abnormally bright meteor, but both of us knew it wasn’t. 

We abandoned our roasted fish and scrambled outside as fast as we could. The streak of light glowed against the inky blue of the night sky, and for a minute I was captivated by the beauty of it. “ _Clarke!_ Is that what I think it is?”

“I think so!” I’d never seen her this eager before. “It leads a few kilometres south.”

“Well _come on_ then!” I dragged her along behind me for a few metres, before she realised that it was all actually happening. We raced through the moonlit forest together, and Clarke’s delighted laugh rang out behind me. I knew how long she had been anticipating the arrival. Her cheeks were flushed with excitement and her blonde hair flew out behind her as she ran. When the trees began to thin out, a steady stream of smoke rising above the leaves caught my eye.

“It’s coming from over there,” Clarke told me, pointing to a clearing on our right. I looked up at her and noticed how nervous she was.

“Clarke? It’s okay to be nervous. I mean, you’re going to finally see Bellamy after declaring your love to him, of course, that’s scary.”

“I know. But what if he didn’t hear it, and I have to pretend everything is normal? And what if he did? God, I’m so _stupid. Why_ did I have to say that?”

I slid my hand into hers.

“It’s going to be fine, Clarke.” I grinned at her. “Now let’s go,” 

We walked into the clearing and just as I'd imagined so many times, there they were. Their ship had landed in the middle of the clearing without so much as a scrape. I knew Raven was an expert at this type of thing. I squeezed Clarke’s hand, and we both began to walk towards them. As we got closer I saw a figure emerge from the ship. This was the moment we’d both dreamed about for so long. They turned towards us, and a huge grin appeared on their face.

“Clarke!” a male voice said.

“Bellamy.”


	6. Reunited

**Clarke:**

“Clarke!” 

“Bellamy.” 

He was really there. It was really him. The man who had played a part in my dreams for over six years, who had taken over my thoughts for over 2,199 days, who had slowly begun to creep into my heart ever since the day I met him. 

“I’ll go find some firewood,” Madi said. “We need some more anyway.” I felt her squeeze my hand before she slipped away into the shadows.

As he walked towards me, the past 6 years melted away: it was like we had never been separated. His dark hair fell in curls over his forehead, casting a shadow over his face. The same face that had become a constant image in my mind. I looked up into his eyes; I’d almost forgotten how beautiful they were. They were the darkest of brown, but they shined as bright as the stars in the sky. I could feel tears pooling in my eyes, happy tears of course because I’d finally been reunited with the man I loved. He opened his arms to me, and I fell into them. It felt like home. 

“Hey, Princess,” He whispered into my ear. I couldn’t stop myself from grinning against his shoulder, “How are you?”

“Much better now you’re here,” I smiled at him, and he smiled back, his eyes tracing my face as if he was memorizing every detail. He pushed my hair behind my ear, and everything fell back into place. I savoured the feeling of his skin against mine, his hand cupping my cheek.

“Bel, wait up!” I forced myself to pull away from him to see Echo approaching us. “Oh, hi Clarke, nice to see you again.”

“You too, Echo,” I beamed at her and began to pull her into a hug until she stepped back and wrapped herself around Bellamy instead. 

“Oh, Bel, Raven wanted to know if you could help her check if the ship’s okay,” Echo was looking up at him, clinging to his arm. He glanced at me apologetically.

“It’s alright, we all have things we need to do,” I shrugged.

“Okay then, I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Great, thanks.” 

Then Echo reached up and kissed him.

My heart dropped. I couldn’t believe it. Bellamy and Echo? It felt like all the breath had been knocked out of me. It was a huge effort to keep smiling. All I wanted to do was run away into the woods, as far away as possible from the happy couple in front of me. I wanted to scream, to sob, to yell at Echo for doing this to me. 

The man I loved was dating another woman.

“I love you!” Echo called back casually as she walked towards the ship. 

“I should go.”

“Yeah, you should. I’ll be there soon to check for injuries from the landing,” I couldn’t even look at him without seeing the way he looked at Echo, the way he kissed her. 

My vision began to blur as I watched him turn his back to me and walk away. I couldn’t stop the tears from running down my face, which, unlike a few minutes ago, were definitely not happy tears. I prayed that Madi was still too busy to come and check on me. It took me five minutes to regain my composure, until I began to wipe my face on my sleeve. I just hoped the others wouldn’t look too closely at my slightly puffy eyes and red nose. 

“Clarke!” Raven turned towards me as I began walking in their direction. I felt myself smile despite the pain I was experiencing. This was the first time I had seen my family in years. And boy was I happy to see them . Raven, Monty, Harper, Emori and even Murphy, they were the closest things I had to a real family now, considering my mom was trapped down in the bunker with the rest of Wonkru. I pulled them all in for a group hug, and I knew everything was going to be alright now that we were together.

I noticed Madi standing at the edge of the clearing, and I beckoned for her to come over. I knew she was waiting for me to do something, as she ran over quicker than I've ever seen her run before.

“So, everyone, I’d like you to meet Madi. I guess she’s my daughter now,” I said proudly, my arm around her.

“I assumed she was,” Monty smiled at her, “We’ve heard all about you from Clarke’s radio messages.” He said, bending down to give Madi a hug.

“You heard my radio messages?” I stammered. “All of them?”

“No, not all of them, we only picked up the signal about 8 months ago,” Harper told me. “We also missed today’s message as there was a little oxygen incident on our way down.”

So they’d heard enough messages to know what was going on in my life, but they hadn’t heard anything about Bellamy. That’s good, I guess. At least now he’ll never have to know how I feel. He can be happy with Echo and we can all move on. I’ll move on eventually: all I want is for him to be happy. 

“Oh, well, nothing much happened today anyway,” I lied. “I can tell you about it over dinner.”

“Dinner. Like, something other than Monty’s algae. That sounds incredible!” Murphy joked, earning a nudge from Emori.

“He does make a valid point though,” Bellamy laughed, joining the group with Echo practically glued to his side.

“Well, follow me, and I can take you back to our camp,” Madi said. I could see how excited she was to meet the people she had heard so many stories about from me.

Everyone began to follow her into the woods, to follow her home.


	7. Home Sweet Home

**Bellamy:**

I had almost forgotten how beautiful the forests could be at night. The only sounds around me were the distant laughs coming from Madi, Monty, Harper, Murphy, Echo and Emori, who had gone ahead, and Clarke’s soft footsteps coming from a few metres behind me. She had been very icy with me ever since Echo had kissed me. Was she jealous? I wish I could just tell her that she was the one for me, that Echo was a mistake and I never should have got involved with her. It was always going to end badly.

“Clarke?”

“What do you want, Bellamy?” She sounded exhausted with me, and I didn’t blame her. Why do these things always have to be so complicated? 

“I just wanted to talk to you.”

“Well, there isn’t really anything to talk about,” She said, slightly softening. 

“Okay, I guess I’m going to have to think of a conversation starter,” I chuckled. She had always been so stubborn. It was one of the things I loved most about her. “How did you meet Madi?” She didn’t reply for a while. Just when I was about to give up and walk ahead again, she spoke.

“It was about 2 months after Praimfaya. That’s how long it took me to find this valley. Do you know how hard it is to live on nothing but dried leaves and seeds?” Clarke looked up at me, into my eyes. She looked broken. That was no doubt the consequence of finding out about Echo.

“Well, I’ve eaten nothing but algae for 6 years, I’m willing to bet that’s worse,” I smiled. 

“Give Monty a  _ break _ , he did pretty damn well keeping you all fed,” she huffed. I could tell she was annoyed with me. I had no idea how she felt before we went up to space, but I can’t help feeling guilty. I should tell her that I feel the same way about her, but I just can’t.

“Are you mad at me for something? You’ve been acting weirdly.” I asked her.

“I’m not mad, I’m just tired. It's been a long day for me, and I’m sure the same applies to you,” she replied. “Anyway, we’re almost here now. Home sweet home,” She said, gesturing towards a glade in the forest. 

The house that Clarke and Madi had made was perfect. It had been built in the middle of the small clearing, so moonlight rained down onto the roof. Ivy climbed up the wooden walls and the rich scent of fish and garlic wafted out of the open windows, making my mouth water. I hadn’t eaten any real food for years. Clarke led me to the door of the cabin, and I could hear that everyone had already begun to eat. My stomach rumbled very loudly. 

“Sounds like you could do with some food,” She said, trying to hide a smirk. 

“That’s an understatement,” I responded with a grin.

As I stepped inside, the delicious smells overwhelmed me and all I could think about was the food on the table. I scrambled to sit down between Monty and Madi, and started to eat rapidly. 

“Bellamy! There you are! I saved you a seat over here,” Echo was patting her seat, expecting me to jump up eagerly.

“Oh, it’s okay Echo,” I mumbled with my mouth full.

Echo paused for a second, looking at me with a weird look on her face. After a few moments, she looked down, and wouldn’t meet my eyes for the rest of the meal. 

The fish was delicious, so hot and tender and full of flavour: it didn’t take long for all of the food to be long gone. As I took my last bite, I leaned back and began to relax, and I finally started to look around the cabin. I’d been so focused on food when we first got here that I hadn’t stopped to take in what was around me. The interior of the house was even prettier than the outside. Wooden furniture adorned the large room, decorated with colourful pieces of fabric and small whittled sculptures.

“It's getting quite late,” Clarke said suddenly, standing up. “Madi, you should start getting ready for bed.”

“Alright,” Madi said with a small yawn. Everyone gave her a hug and she disappeared off into another room. I could already tell that everyone was going to love her the way Clarke did, especially me. 

“You guys can get cleaned up as well if you want. There's a spare room through that door where most of you can sleep” she stated, pointing to the back of the kitchen.

“but a couple of you might have to sleep in the living room”

“We can go there, right Bellamy?” Echo piped up.

“Yeah sure, sounds good,” I said back. Believe me, I’d much rather sleep with Clarke.

“Well, I’m going to head down to the lake and then I’ll be back,” Echo smiled at me

Everyone said their goodnights and I made my way into the living room. You could tell that the two of them had a lot of time on their hands: it was beautifully decorated .I loved how Clarke had added her own touches everywhere. The walls were painted with a scene of the night sky similar to the one I watched from the ring. Pieces of parchment hung all over the walls and were scattered in various places. I knew how much Clarke loved to draw, it had been her favourite pastime since she was a child. On the main wall, there was a substantial picture of Clarke and Madi. God, she was so beautiful. 

As I looked closer, I noticed that there was a sketch of almost everyone somewhere in the house. Murphy and Raven were over by the door, Monty and Harper were together by the bedroom and there was one of her mom on the table in a hand-carved frame. As I began walking over to the sofa, I noticed a drawing of me. I lifted it carefully, not wanting to tear it. The detail she had put into it was amazing, the resemblance was uncanny. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling widely at the thought that she had spent so much work on it. I turned over the piece of paper and realised that there was something on the back. It was a heart with our names in it, and it was the best thing I’d seen in a long time.


	8. Unsteady

**Clarke:**

I didn’t sleep at all last night. I couldn’t get the vision of Echo kissing Bellamy out of my head. Of course, my mind had decided to replay the exact moment my world fell apart. I sat up and gazed out of the window instead, watching the stars move across the sky, trying to take my mind off of the searing pain in my chest. When the moon finally began to sink down under the horizon, I decided that I needed to get away from the stifling atmosphere of the house. I put on my jacket and trousers, grabbed my boots and quietly slipped out of the door, into the crisp night air.

I relished being able to breathe in the cool breeze, letting it fill my lungs and clear my mind. As my feet found their way to the Meadow, my mind wandered. Why was love so complicated? All I had ever wanted was someone to truly love me. I wanted the type of love that you read about in books, unconditional love, where you could always rely on the other person to be there for you no matter what. In my head, that person was always Bellamy, but it had been made very clear to me that he didn’t feel the same way about me that I did. I guess I would just have to learn to live with it.

The Meadow had always been my favourite place to go when I wanted to be alone with my thoughts. I found it a year or two after meeting Madi, and I used to visit it often when I first began to have feelings for Bellamy; it was a small field that was a 20-minute walk from the cabin. A stream meandered through the grassland, and there were a few trees that were perfect for shade in the hot summers. But the best part was the flowers. During springtime, gorgeous shades of cobalt and crimson and violet and canary yellow made the Meadow feel like a magical getaway from real life. It certainly had been a miracle that such a beautiful place had survived the end of the world.

I took off my boots and dipped my feet into the stream, letting the water wash away my worries. The first streaks of the morning were beginning to appear across the night sky, so I lay back against the soft grass and watched it . It was turning into a symphony of color. First, orange streaks appeared in the blue, like an oboe joining a flute, turning a solo into a duet. That harmony built into a crescendo of colors as yellow and then pink added their voices to the chorus. The word sunrise couldn't possibly contain the meaning of the beauty above me. As it finally began to change to a delicate blue, I sat up again, sighing. I should get back soon, or the others would start getting worried. 

I decided to head back along the stream, it was quicker to go that way than back through the trees. I wandered down the bank but as I came closer to a patch of reeds, something caught my eye. I bent down and reached in, to find an abandoned duck’s nest. It was rare that we ever found anything like this, considering Praimfaya had wiped out most of the wildlife. Madi and I had only ever come across nests like this twice before now. What’s even better was that in this nest, there were 10 eggs! Finding 1 or 2 eggs would’ve been amazing, but 10, it was practically unheard of. I picked them up carefully and placed them into my jacket pockets. I walked the rest of the way slowly, trying my very best not to break any of them. Maybe today wasn't going to be so awful after all.

“Clarke? I didn’t know you were awake,” Bellamy was sitting at the kitchen table when I came back in. 

“I went for a walk. Had to clear my head.”

“Oh.” I noticed he was shielding a piece of parchment from me. What had he been doing before I had come in? “What are you carrying?”

“Well, I was walking along the stream and you’ll never guess what I found,” I said, revealing the eggs nestled in my jacket. “I’ve only found eggs twice since Praimfaya, they’ve become really rare.”

“Wow! That’s great, Clarke,” He said, his smile so genuine I couldn’t help but smile back.

“I should start making breakfast, everyone else will wake up soon.”

“Can I help? I’d feel bad watching you do all of the work.”

“Uh, yeah, sure. Can you go down to the lake and get one or two buckets of water?”

“Of course.”

**Monty:**

When I woke up, everyone else was gone from the room. I’d slept well for the first time in 6 years, which makes a change. I pulled myself up from the sleeping bag on the floor and went into the kitchen. It was like everyone had been awaiting my arrival.

“There you are sleepyhead, we were debating having breakfast without you!” Harper exclaimed. 

“Clarke found duck eggs on her walk! You guys must be good luck,” Madi squealed with excitement. She was such a sweet kid, so very like Clarke. You could definitely tell they’d spent 6 year with just each other for company.

We were all given a wooden plate with a fried egg and some bread. I had tried hard with my algae, but this real food was delicious.

“So, I know you’ve only just got back, but I wanted to talk to you guys about the bunker,” Clarke said. 

“Well we’ve got to go and get Octavia and everyone else out,” Bellamy replied sternly. 

“Of course, It’s only about a 5 day walk from here. We’ve made the journey before but the bunker is covered in rubble from when Polis collapsed,” Clarke explained.

“Lets go today then,” I suggested.

“It’ll be easy to get them out with all of us there to do work on it.” Murphy added.

“You’re sure?” Clarke asked. “We can wait a few days if you wanted to rest before we headed out.”

“No, Murphy’s right. We can easily lift the rocks between the 9 of us. Besides, I want to see O as soon as possible.”

“It’s settled then. Eat up everyone, we’ve got some walking to do!”


	9. Rescue Mission

**Murphy:**

“John! Wake up!” I slowly opened my eyes to see Emori shaking me awake. “John, we need to leave soon!”

“Alright, alright,” I mumbled, leaning on my elbows. I squinted, trying to let my eyes adjust to the blaring desert sun that filtered in through the tent flaps. As I began to wake up properly, I saw Emori bending over her sleeping bag, packing all of the bags already. Trust her to be organised. 

“You need to get dressed. We have one more day of traveling ahead, and the sooner we get there, the better.” 

“Okay, I’m up,” I sat up properly and grabbed my shirt. I hated wearing the long white clothing: sure, they protected us from heatstroke and sunburns, but they were so incredibly hot and stuffy. 

I finished folding the thick material of the tent, stuffing it into one of the heavy backpacks. The sun was blazing down relentlessly, coaxing sweat out of me before we even started walking. It had been roasting the entire trip, so we couldn’t have picked a better time to come. 

The journey had been brutal, especially for a kid like Madi. I’m sure she’d done it before but I noticed her struggling a little. So I made the decision to walk behind the others with her for a bit. 

“Murphy, hi,” Madi said. She sounded a bit out of breath. 

“Have you ever been to Polis before?” I asked, trying to start up a conversation

“I’ve walked there once with Clarke, but it wasn’t nearly this hot,” She smiled. “We went just over a year ago when it first became safe for non-nightbloods to come to the surface again. We tried to get the others out of the bunker, but… well, that obviously didn’t work out.” 

“Earth’s been safe for over a year?” I asked, surprised. We could have come back down long ago. If only we found that satellite sooner. No wonder Clarke had wondered where we were.

“Yeah. Clarke was waiting every day for you guys to come home. She missed you so much. All of you” She added when I rolled my eyes. Who knew it would be possible for someone to miss a cockroach like me?

“We would have come back if we could. But it took us a long time to find enough fuel to land safely. In the end, Emori had to steal some from a passing satellite.”

“What’s it like? In space, I mean. Clarke doesn’t really like to talk about when she lived on the Ark.”

“It’s... okay. Well, it sucks to eat nothing but algae or protein paste. But I guess it’s pretty cool apart from that.”

The trip wasn’t so difficult after that. Madi and I talked most of the day. She was so like Clarke, yet she was completely her own person. However, when I looked into her eyes I could see that the innocence a child should have was almost gone. She had experienced things that a little girl never should have to go through. 

As we approached the familiar forest surrounding, my blood ran cold. Clarke had said that all of the buildings had collapsed, but I only just started to realise that it was true. Where buildings usually came into view through the leafy canopy, all I could see was more grey sky. 

Then we came to the edge of the forest, and I saw it. ‘It’ being the mass destruction that used to be a city.

**Harper:**

Polis looked worse than I could have ever imagined. Buildings had crashed and burned, leaving piles of charred rubble everywhere in sight. It used to be such an incredible place. You know, for all its faults, Earth was really beautiful. It’s nothing like that anymore though. Apart from Eden, or Shadow Valley as Clarke and Madi call it. It’s like the death wave completely brushed over it. However, the radiation definitely did not miss it. The radiation didn’t miss _ anywhere _ . Nobody that wasn’t in that bunker survived if they weren’t nightbloods; a mass of blackened skeletons blanketed the floor of Polis. 

“You get used to it looking like this,” Clarke sighed. It was probably harder for her to be here than it was for us. She’d never really talked about it, but we all knew the connection between her and Lexa. This was Lexa’s home and seeing it destroyed probably crushed the part of Clarke that was holding onto those memories. I think that’s why she cared so much about Madi. Because she saw Lexa through her eyes.

“This way, guys. Where the tower used to be is just up here” Madi beckoned, pointing her hand in the direction of a ruined pile of rocks. As we got closer, the pile of rubble got bigger. We had a lot of work on our hands.

“Well, Clarke. I now understand why you and Madi couldn’t do this alone,” said Murphy.

“Yeah, that’s a whole lot of rubble!” Emori joked, trying to shed some light on the situation.

“And that’s exactly why we’re all going to have to work together and put in the effort, or the people in that bunker are going absolutely nowhere,” Bellamy concluded. He had his serious voice on now, a voice we’d become very familiar with during our time in space. It's the one he used whenever he wanted something, most recently when he wanted to get back down to earth. I guess we could call it his ‘I want to see someone I love again’ voice. 

“Murphy, Bellamy and Monty, you can start lifting the bigger rocks between the 3 of you,” Clarke commanded. They nodded and began to get to work.

“Echo, Emori and Harper, you start moving the slightly smaller ones, the ones that you can lift by yourselves,” she said. We didn’t argue and started lifting at once, everyone desperate to see the rest of our friends.

“Madi, Raven, and I will try to smash any bigger ones down,” she finished. It was a big job, but it was worth it to be reunited with everyone we loved.


	10. A Hulking Burden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We just wanted to say thank you so much for 500 hits! We never expected our story to be this popular. It really means a lot to us that people are reading and enjoying our work. Also, sorry that this chapter isn't that long, bigger ones are in the works :)

**Echo:**

It’d been 6 days since we had arrived in Polis, and the huge mound of rubble was finally starting to get smaller. We’d had to clear them away to a different spot so that we could access what used to be the Polis tower. We were surrounded by smashed pieces of rock scattered all around us. My back, arms, and neck ached badly from lifting for hours on end.

All of this trouble was definitely not worth it. I didn’t see why I should be helping anyway, there was nobody down there that I wanted to see. What was so special about these people? Bellamy had  _ me _ , and he should be happy about that. He doesn’t need his sister, not when I love him much more than she does. I couldn’t understand why he was so set on seeing her again. Sure, they grew up together, but that doesn’t mean he has to love her. I wish he could see that he doesn’t owe her anything, that he doesn’t have to pretend to care about her when he’s around me.

I was starting to panic a bit about seeing Octavia. I wasn’t scared. Of course,I wasn't scared of some girl who saw herself as above everyone else. But that didn’t change the fact that she hated my guts. Bellamy insisted that we were family now, but I couldn’t see why I should have anything to do with her. I guess maybe I was a  _ little _ scared of her. If she made a move on me, I would kill her without even thinking about it. But where would that leave my relationship with Bellamy? I don’t think that he would stay with me if I murdered his sister. He’d probably leave me for Clarke. That little bitch. God, this feelings thing was hard; life was so much easier when the only person I cared about was me. I shook my hair out of my face, trying to stop thinking about it. Bellamy would protect me, I knew he would.

“I can see the trapdoor!” Madi yelled.

“Quick Bellamy, come and help. There’s just one more big rock in the way,” Clarke hollered, batting her eyelids at him. I wanted to strangle her. Who did she think she was? Bellamy came racing over and hauled the rock out of the way effortlessly. There it was, the trapdoor in the ground that separated us from hundreds and hundreds of people.

Clarke took the level 12 key out of her pocket and slotted it into the keyhole. She looked back at all of us and took a deep breath. Was she really nervous about turning a key? Then Bellamy kneeled down next to her, and she simpered at him. Get a  _ clue _ , Clarke! He obviously just feels sorry for you. Imagine not being able to open a trapdoor by yourself. 

I suppressed a scream as he put his hand on hers. She looked so pathetically happy, despite her anxiousness. She looked up into his eyes and muttered a single word to him so quietly that I couldn’t catch it. Bellamy repeated it back to her, and together they twisted the key.

The bunker was now open.


	11. At Last We See the Light

**Octavia:**

“Octavia?” Indra’s voice came from the other side of the door. I stirred in my bed, groaning. “Octavia? You might want to see this.” I sat up reluctantly, running my fingers through my hair. What was so important this early in the morning? I swiftly pulled on some black leather trousers and a shirt, and left the room, closing the door behind me.

Everyone was crowded in the dining room, jostling each other, trying to get a closer look at whatever was happening. A fight? I told them what would happen if there was another big fight. Wonkru was going to be the death of me. They were just as responsible and independent and mature as a bunker full of toddlers. As they began to notice my presence, the dining hall quickly grew silent. People shrank away from me as I walked through the crowd, towards whatever was important enough for me to be woken up at 3 am for.  
Through the sea of heads, I suddenly glimpsed a head of oh-so-familiar curls. For a second, my breath caught in my throat, my step faltered. Then I shook my head slightly, mentally scolding myself for being so gullible. Of course, it wasn't him. He was in space, or probably even dead by now. But then a few last grounders moved out of the way, revealing…

“Bellamy?”  
And then he was there, his arms around me. I couldn’t believe it. Bellamy was here, and alive.  
“Good to see you, O,” He whispered into my hair.

After a few minutes, I pulled away, still so amazed at the fact that they had found a way to survive, the fact that they had found a way to open the trapdoor that we had been struggling with for months.

“Octavia, hi,” Clarke smiled at me, pulling me into a hug as well.

“How are you guys here? How did you open the door? How did-”

“A lot of work,” he laughed, cutting me off mid-sentence. “We listened to Murphy complaining for a solid 6 days, so you better be grateful.”

"Why wouldn’t it open when we tried it? We’ve been attempting to get out for months.”

Bellamy and Clarke exchanged uneasy glances before turning back to me.

“There’s a bit of a… problem, with Polis. Praimfaya made the structures incredibly weak and… Well, it’s collapsed. Polis has collapsed.”

“All of it? You mean it’s all gone?”

“It wasn’t built to stay standing through a death wave. Now it’s only a huge pile of rocks.”

Clarke suddenly turned her head towards the door, her expression alert.

“Clarke? Is something wrong?” Bellamy asked, looking concerned.

“I- Yeah, just a second,” She said distractedly, her eyes glued to the dining-room door.

**Clarke:**

“Mom!” I yelled towards the door as recognition dawned on me.

“Oh Clarke, it’s really you,” she gushed as she came running into the dining room. “I heard people talking about newcomers, but I didn’t believe you could really be here!”

My mom pulled me into a tight embrace like she didn’t intend to let go. I felt so safe in her arms; I had missed her so much. There was so much I had to tell her, about Madi, about Bellamy, about everything.

“Oh Clarke, I’ve missed you more than you can imagine. My daughter,” She whispered into my hair.

  
“I’ve missed you more, I can guarantee it,” I smiled and looked into her eyes. We were together again. After all this time, we were together again. She wiped the tears from my eyes and squeezed my shoulders, and I knew that everything was going to be okay.  
Bellamy looked over at me, his eyes asking if he could come over. I nodded at him, and he began to walk over to where my mom and I were standing.

“Abby,” he smiled, pulling her into a quick hug, “It’s good to see you again.”  
She whispered something into his ear before pulling away again quickly. He looked down, shook his head and blushed, not meeting her eye. I looked at him questioningly, but he turned towards the crowd quickly.

“Okay, everyone, listen up. You may be wondering what’s going on right now. I think you’ll be happy to hear that we are going to get you all out of this bunker. But, it’s not going to be easy. Most of earth is still dead, uninhabitable. There’s one small area left, Shadow Valley, that is thriving, and we are going to build a community there. All of us, together. It’s a six-day journey there, so we’ll have to spend today prepping. We can leave tomorrow, but only if we work hard,” Bellamy said, looking over at me.

“Yes, we need everyone working together.” I stepped forward, taking my cue. “There are 1200 of you, give or take. We need people to sort out food, for the journey and once we get there. A couple of nuts and berry bushes might be able to keep 10 people going, but it definitely won’t sustain all of us. Others will have to organise tents. You’ll be surprised at how cold the desert can get at night. Then we need people to get first aid kits, medicine, clothes, any other important supplies. We need everyone to work hard if they want to get to Shadow Valley.”

The dining hall burst into conversation as I stepped back. The look on some children’s faces was definitely worth the struggles. Lots of them were probably born in the bunker and had never seen the light of day before.

\-----

I sat down on a boulder after an entire day of organizing and preparing and working, watching the sun sink under the horizon. I had no idea how we were going to build homes for almost 1200 people in Shadow Valley. But there was no point in worrying about it yet.

“Clarke? Can I sit here?” I turned around and sighed when I saw Bellamy standing behind me. Things were always so complicated with Bellamy. I was glad to see him, of course, I was, but I wasn’t sure if I could face a conversation with him after what had happened. It was too painful. My feelings for him were as strong as ever, and they made me feel so out of control.

“Sure,” I muttered, keeping my eyes on the sunset. He sank down beside me, and I could tell he was uncomfortable from the silence.

“Listen, Clarke, I-”

“Bellamy, I don’t want to hear whatever you have to say. I just… can’t right now.”

“Please, tell me what’s wrong. I missed you so much when we were in space, and now that we’re back I don’t want us to-”

“Clarke? Do you think you could maybe grab a bandage for Ethan? He was climbing on the boulders and he slipped,” Emori was leading a little boy about five towards us. I stood up, thankful for the interruption.

“Yeah, of course. There’s a first aid kit in our tents, I can go grab one. It's about a ten-minute walk,” I said.

I bent down to look at Ethan’s knee. “It doesn’t look like too bad of a scrape, and it’s almost stopped bleeding. There is some gravel and dirt in it though, so we’ll have to clean it up. Do you want to come with me?” I asked him. “You can see my doctor’s kit if you want.” His eyes lit up, and he nodded. “Okay then, it’s just over there,” I pointed over the hill.

I undid the zip of mine and Raven’s and Madi’s tent and grabbed the first aid kit inside. I took out a roll of bandages and a small bottle of rubbing alcohol, and carefully poured a bit onto a clean rag. “This might hurt a bit,” I said before I placed the cloth onto his wound. He whimpered at the stinging. I wrapped a clean bandage around his leg and straightened up.

“Are you feeling okay now, Ethan?” I asked.

“Yes, it doesn’t hurt anymore. Thank you!” He smiled at me, and I couldn’t help looking into his eyes. They were such a vivid blue. He had the same look in his eyes that Madi had when I met her; this boy had witnessed things a child never should.

As we headed back over the hill, I thought back to Bellamy. He had said that he missed me while he was in space. Did he ever think about me as I thought about him? He was all I thought about, every minute of the day. My feelings for him were so strong they terrified me.

I was going to tell him. I was surprised at how sure I was of my decision. I was going to tell him how I felt about him, how I thought about him every night, how I fantasized about living the rest of my life with him. I couldn’t keep the secret for much longer, it was too overwhelming. I started walking faster, practically dragging Ethan with me. I was going to tell him, I was going to tell him, I was going to tell him, I was going to-  
And then I collapsed.


	12. My Sister, My Responsibility

**Bellamy:**

We’d gotten everyone out of the bunker in a couple of hours. It wasn’t too hard as everyone seemed desperate to walk on land again, to breathe fresh air again, to be free from the prison they’d endured for 6 years. Going back to space was hard enough, but being forced underground with no escape, that sucked even more.

It was no surprise to me that people preferred sleeping in tents outside or under the stars than in the bunker. I know I would. Clarke had managed to get everyone organised, and then disappeared to get a couple extra first aid kits from where we had set up camp over the hill. God, she was brilliant, she had so many talents. I was in awe watching her reunite with her mom; she looked so happy and seeing the smile on her face warmed my heart.

Abby had obviously noticed the way I looked at her. Was it really that obvious? When I leaned down to hug her, she had whispered in my ear “Is there anything happening between you and Clarke?” As we stood to look at each other again, I rapidly shook my head. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks, like I was a teenager again, with a crush on my classmate. The only thing was, my feelings for Clarke are definitely more than a crush. 

I thought that she loved me too, after what I heard on the radio back on the ring. But the way she was treating me, the way she acted towards me, it seems like she didn’t even care about me in the first place. Maybe the message was a joke, maybe she didn’t really have any feelings for me at all. But why would she tell me she did? Why would she put herself out there, let her strong stone-built walls down just for something that wasn’t true? Why would she lead me on, make me fall even harder for her, only to tell me it didn’t matter. 

I was setting up a fire for a few families from Trishanakru when Octavia came over to me. She sat down on the ground a few metres away, leaning against a boulder and watching me coax a flame out of the dry twigs. Wood was precious around here, there were only a few young saplings sprouting around the outskirts of Polis. Praimfaya had wiped any and all plant life that used to thrive here. I leaned back on my heels as the fire finally crackled to life, consuming the wood and old paper I had been feeding it. 

I made my way over to Octavia and sat down next to my little sister. I had missed her so much. There was so much that we had missed in each other's lives. She hadn’t changed much physically; her hair was slightly longer and her eyes didn’t have the same childish glow to them, but I’d always see her as a little girl. Now that she was leading Wonkru, I guess I’d have to accept that she was perfectly capable of being independent. I know I’ll always protect her, but she’s all grown up now. The days of piggy-backs in our room and hiding her under the floor were definitely over. 

I didn’t really mind the silence between us: It was quite comforting to just sit and watch the fire together. But Octavia seemed burning to talk to me.

“I missed you, Bel. Six years feels so much longer when you’re not there.”

“I know. I was devastated when the radios broke. We managed to fix ours a few months ago, but we couldn’t get the right frequency to talk to you.”

“Our radios broke ages ago. I think it was probably because of the rubble blocking our signals, but we didn’t know that at the time.” She paused. “But you were probably happy enough hearing Clarke,” She added, smirking at me and nudging my shoulder. I blushed. Even _Octavia_ had noticed.

“Is it really that obvious? Abby asked me about it earlier too.”

“Well, maybe you should tone down the lovey-dovey eyes at each other,” She laughed.

“We do _not_ make lovey-dovey eyes!” I protested. “I don’t think she likes me that way, anyway. She’s been so cold to me, and she keeps ignoring me. I tried to talk to her earlier, but she walked away from me.”

“And could that be anything to with the devils spawn that you call a _girlfriend_?” she spat. 

“Hey, I told you about that because I hoped you’d be mature enough to put aside your past with Echo!” I knew Octavia hated Echo with a passion, but I’d somehow managed to convince myself that she’d welcome her with open arms. I could now see that was never going to happen. 

“It’s not my fault she’s a spy who _stabbed_ me and then decided to throw me off a _cliff_!” She cried indignantly. 

“Okay, okay. O? Look, I’m sorry.” I sighed. “The thing is… I don’t really like Echo either.”

She looked at me, surprised. “Not, as much as I used to, anyway. Echo is an amazing woman, she helped me get through so much while we were in space. But… I can’t stop thinking about Clarke.”

“Then just get _rid_ of her already!”

“I can’t, though. It would break Echo, I can’t do that to her.” 

“Bellamy, sometimes I don’t understand you. If you love Clarke, go get her! What are you waiting for?” Octavia slipped her hand into mine. “You should never be with someone because you feel you owe them a relationship, it’s not fair on anybody. You should be with somebody because you _love_ them.”

I love Clarke.

The words surprised me as they came into my head, but I knew at once that they were true. I didn’t have much time to recover from the realisation I’d just had, as Monty came yelling down a hill.

“Bellamy!” 

Monty ran over to me, panic filling his voice. “We have a serious problem.”

“Monty, breathe. Tell me what’s happened,” I insisted, trying to calm him down. 

“Clarke’s been shot.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick side note,  
> If you were here before this chapter, we changed Theo's name to Ethan. It made more sense for it to be him. We know the age doesn't quite add up but it's fine just ignore it.  
> Thanks for reading :)


	13. Panic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER:  
> We are definitely not doctors, we're just going on guesses and what google said, so there is a high chance that a lot of things in this chapter are inaccurate. 
> 
> There'll definitely be at least 6 or 7 more chapters over the summer so keep your eyes peeled.  
> Hope you're enjoying the story :)

**Abby:**

Bellamy lay Clarke down in the hospital unit, her head lying back limply. 

“Abby, you have to do something. She can’t die, she can’t,” he wept, the pain in his voice piercing the shocking tension in the room.

I stood there in shock for a few seconds, unable to comprehend what had happened. My daughter, my baby who I’d just been reunited with, was led broken in front of me. She had been so strong before, I knew she would make it. She would make it, wouldn’t she? She had to. I couldn’t help but think about what would happen if I couldn’t save her. After all, she was on the verge of death.

That was what threw me into action, the knowledge that those precious seconds could be the difference between seeing her open her eyes once more and never experiencing that again. 

“Jackson, I need the forceps. We have to get the remaining bullet out.” I said, forcing myself into doctor mode. “She was shot twice, in her left shoulder and her hip. One of the bullets is still lodged near her pelvis, we have to remove it quickly. She’s lost a lot of blood. It doesn’t look like either have hit any major organs, but we have to be careful,” I said.

“Bellamy, we might need you to help. Most of the doctors are working on a little boy, or tending to other people on the surface.” A flash of fear crossed his face before he nodded determinedly. “Somebody needs to slow the blood flow from her shoulder while we remove the bullet in her hip.” 

“I’m on it,” Bellamy remarked, hands flying to put pressure on the wound.

“Bellamy, are you sure you can do this?” I hesitated. 

“If it will save her life, I’ll do anything.” He whipped back at me. 

I nodded. This man obviously loved my daughter, so I trusted him. He pressed his hands against her shoulder, and I took a deep breath before I turned back towards her hip. Jackson nodded at me, handing me the sterilized forceps.

I forced myself to push the forceps into her hip gently, avoiding the pelvis. Clarke’s blood coated my gloves, but I was way past caring. The only thing that mattered was keeping her alive. 

I dug around carefully until I hit a small round metal object. I let out a breath I didn’t know I had been holding, and I gently closed the forceps around it. Then I tugged lightly, and I pulled the bullet from her body.

“Okay, let's stitch up the wound,” I breathed to Jackson, who instinctively walked over with some surgical thread and a clean needle. I stepped back as he pressed a rag against the injury, preparing to clean it and sew it together. 

“You’ll be okay Clarke, I promise.” I heard Bellamy mutter as I pulled my gloves off and stroked her cheek, sweeping the hair away from her forehead. I studied his face as he whispered reassurance to my unconscious daughter. 

Yep, he definitely loved her. 

**Bellamy:**

I sat next to Clarke, the room empty apart from me and her. Her chest rose and fell gently, which was a good sign. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I had lost her. Abby had managed to get the bullet out and stopped the bleeding, but Clarke was still unconscious. I didn’t know if she was going to wake up, and that was what hurt the most. My eyes were bloodshot from crying, and my hands were still stained with blood. Her blood. I reached out to interlock my fingers in her hers. I cupped her hand in both of mine and brought it up to my lips to kiss it. 

“Oh Clarke, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry that this happened to you,” I whispered, tears beginning to form again in my eyes, “I should have been there to protect you, you shouldn’t have had to leave alone, you should never have been hurt.”

I was crying properly now, my emotions running out of me thick and fast. I felt so guilty for letting this happen to her. If I hadn’t tried to get her to talk to me, she wouldn’t have done everything she could have to get away from me. And if she hadn’t done that, well we wouldn’t be here, would we? She looked so helpless just lying there, and I felt so helpless not being able to do anything for her.

“Hey, are you doing alright?” Abby asked, placing a hand on my shoulder. I had been too busy weeping to notice her come in. I let go of Clarke and placed my hand over hers.

“I’ve been better,” I tried to joke, instead letting out another strangled sob. God, I was pathetic. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s come over me.”

“I do,” She told me firmly. She sat down in the chair beside me and looked me dead in the eye. “You love her.”

I opened my mouth to say something, but no words came out. I looked at Clarke and then back to her. She smiled and raised an eyebrow at me.

“It’s quite obvious,” she continued. “ Just from the way you look at her.”

I smiled sheepishly, and she laughed. “I’ll leave you with her, call me if anything happens.” 

She got up and left, shutting the door behind her, leaving me locked in with my thoughts. I grabbed Clarke’s hand again and took a deep breath.

“I’ve no idea if you can hear me Clarke, but here goes. I guess your mom was right. I love you. I’ve loved you since the first time I met you, when you yelled at me for not thinking about the air being toxic. I’ve loved you since we took the trip to get supplies. I taught you how to use a gun, and you told me that I was forgiven for all the bad things I’d done in my life, mostly to protect my sister. I love the way you look so proud whenever you look at Madi. I love how you smile at the little things in life. But I failed you, Clarke, I failed to protect you. I did the worst thing imaginable. And I didn’t tell you how much I loved you, and now there's a chance that I’ll lose you. We can’t lose you Clarke. Your mom needs you, Madi needs you, **_I_ ** need you.” I looked at her closed eyes, her pale face. “I got your message, the one where you told me you loved me, and I couldn’t believe it. I was so incredibly happy. But ever since we got down here you’ve been so cold, and I can’t help but think that it’s my fault. You didn’t know about Echo and I'm so sorry. Please forgive me, Clarke, I can make this right. I can-”

I was cut off with the sound of her monitors beeping. My heart skipped a beat. No, this wasn’t happening. Without even thinking, I started CPR. It was the only thing I could think of to do.

“Abby! Abby, something’s wrong!” I yelled at the top of my lungs. She came darting in, panic on her face.

“Jackson! Come quickly, we’re losing her!” she screeched as she checked Clarke’s pulse. I stood there, keeping her heart beating. We were both in a state of shock. Jackson came running as soon as he was called, with Octavia following suit.

“Bell, is she going to be alright?” Octavia asked, looking at her dying friend.

It was as if the heart monitor answered for me. There was a long beep, and then nothing. Another long beep, and then nothing. Abby looked like she was going to throw up, but I kept going with compressions.

“Bell,” Octavia squeezed my shoulder, “Bell, she’s gone.” 

“No, she’s  _ not _ !” I snapped. I was not going to lose her. I wouldn’t survive without her.

I turned back and pounded Clarke’s chest. Nothing. I pounded it again, tears running down my face. “She can’t,” I whispered.

“Come on, Clarke! _ Come on! _ ” 

I pounded her chest one last time, and it was like her body kicked into action. She took a huge breath and gasped as she woke up and looked at me.

“Bellamy?” she whispered.

I wrapped my arms around her instinctively and sobbed into her shoulder. 

She was going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	14. Is he Breathing?

**Clarke:**

My head was dizzy and I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. My memory was blurred and I couldn’t quite remember what had happened or where I was. All I knew was that Bellamy was standing over me, red cheeks, and tears in his eyes.

“Bellamy?” I whispered. 

He wrapped his arms around me and placed his head on my shoulder. I felt his shoulders shake, his tears soaking into my blood-stained shirt. I nuzzled my face into his shoulder, and I couldn't help the tears that started to brim in my own eyes. I found that place in the crook of his neck where my head fit perfectly, the place that was made for me.

As we pulled away, he took my face in his hands and rubbed the tears off of my cheeks with his thumb. When I looked into his eyes, I realised I wanted to be with him all my life. When I looked into his eyes all I could see was a sadness that I badly wanted to drown in love. When I looked into his eyes, I could see my own pain reflected back to me. 

“Clarke, you’re alright,” he smiled, and I could hear the relief in his voice.

“Yeah,” I breathed back, “I’m alright.” 

He brought me back into another warm hug. He squeezed me so tightly that a pain overcame my hip.

“Okay, okay, you’re hurting me now.” I laughed. Bellamy whipped his head up, his eyes now filled with concern, but when he saw that I was smiling, he began to laugh with me.

“Clarke,” my mother appeared at my side, “Are you feeling alright? I need to make sure that your vitals are normal. You flatlined, honey, and I know that Bellamy kept CPR going long enough for you to take a breath but your brain was still without oxygen for about a minute,” she admitted. I nodded my head, and she began to take my blood pressure and monitor my heart rate once more. 

Bellamy never left my side, like he was glued to the chair next to my bed. I noticed that Octavia was standing in the doorway, out of the way, so I gave her a little wave.

“Hey Clarke, how are you doing?” she asked softly. I was glad that she and Bellamy were here with me. I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

“I’m good thanks. I’m a little shaken and my hip hurts like hell, but other than that, never been better.” I chuckled back to her.

“Well, I’m glad you survived. Promise you won’t put us through that again?” she teased as she walked towards us and sat down next to Bellamy.

“I promise.” 

Mom and Jackson were finishing up with my tests when another thought hit me.

“Mom, what happened to Ethan?”

Bellamy exchanged a worried look with my Mom. My breath caught in my throat. “There was a boy who was brought in a few minutes before you were. He was shot twice, like you. He… The doctors worked on him next door for hours but-”

I didn’t bother listening to what else Mom had to say, I couldn’t bear it. I was out of bed and walking through the door.

“Clarke, you have to rest, you’re not ready to-”

“I don’t care.”

I strode barefoot down the hallway, my shoulders back and head held high even though I was shaking. My heart pounded as I pushed the door open.

He was lying in a bed identical to the one I was in a few moments earlier, but he was in a completely different state. His face was pale and his eyes were glazed over, staring up at the ceiling. 

“Ethan?” I whispered, my fears confirmed. I staggered back a few steps as if someone had actually slapped me in the face. My vision began to blur, the tears threatening to spill over. This was all my fault. He was dead. This little boy, who should have decades left to live. Dead. I was standing here, breathing, and he was lying there, dead. If I could have traded my life for his, he would be standing here beside everyone else. I felt awful. There was an excruciating pain in my stomach as it flipped over and over. I thought I was going to be sick.

I tried to take in a gulp of air and a horrible, strangled cry left my throat. I forced myself to breathe properly and reached over to grasp his hand. It was cold. Still. Lifeless.

“I’m so sorry, Ethan.” I managed to choke out. “I should have never taken you with me. I should have never let you leave the camp. You should be  _ alive _ ,” I cried, shaking him slightly. But he didn’t move, he didn’t react. Of course, he didn’t. He would never move again because of me.

I let out a thundering scream and fell to the floor. Shortly after, I felt the comforting weight of a hand on my shoulder. Even before I smelt his familiar musk scent, I knew who it was. I turned to Bellamy and threw my arms around his waist; now it was my turn to sob uncontrollably into his stomach. He pulled me in close and stroked my hair as I let out all of my emotions. 

After a few minutes, he gently led me out of the room and to my hospital bed. I perched on the edge, wiping my eyes and smiling wanly when he sat down next to me. Everyone else had left, meaning him and I were alone together. I was the one to finally break the silence that had fallen over us.

“I’m sorry, Bell. I’m sorry about everything.” 

He shook his head. “It’s okay, Clarke. We don’t have to talk about it now.”

“I want to, though. I’ve been a bitch to you ever since you returned, and I’m sorry about that.” 

“Clarke, it’s alright. Really. You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

“But I do Bell, I won’t be able to live with myself otherwise. I won’t be able to put on a strong face around you if I don’t tell you now.”

“Clarke I-”

And with that, my lips were against his, cutting him off. It was a small, tentative peck. I didn’t know exactly what I was doing but boy did it feel good. I pulled away and looked at him, unsure of what his reaction would be. To my surprise, he leant forward and crashed his mouth back onto mine. Years of pent up feelings were channelled into that kiss. I brought my arms around his neck, pulling him in deeper. Our lips moulded together perfectly, and all I could think about was Bellamy.

Bellamy, Bellamy, Bellamy. 

I was finally kissing Bellamy. And he was kissing me back. His arms wrapped around my waist, and I could feel his lips form a grin.

“God, Princess. You’ve no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do that,” he murmured against my lips, and I couldn’t help but smile.

**Echo:**

She kissed him. She fucking kissed him. That little whore, she  _ kissed  _ him. 

I stood outside the door to her room, leaning back against the wall. I couldn’t let them see me, just like I’m sure they weren’t expecting anyone to see that. I could feel my blood beginning to boil, my head beginning to spin.

She was going to pay for this.


	15. A New Way of Life

**Harper:**

I awoke to the sound of chirping birds filling the room and a gentle kiss on my forehead.

“Good morning, sweetie,” Monty murmured as I opened my eyes. He pulled me closer against his chest and I smiled up at him, reaching up to press my lips against his. I snuggled into his chest, feeling the sun that streamed through the window warm my back. 

“We should get up soon,” Monty whispered into my hair after a few minutes of cuddling. “We’ll have to help Clarke and the others make breakfast. After all, there’s over a thousand people waiting for some food.” 

I groaned. It was easy to forget the new routine we’d been forced to fall into. It had only been a few weeks since everyone had arrived back at Eden, and we were still getting used to having people around again. It was like the delinquents repeated: we had to work together to get food, to make shelters, to survive. The natural leaders had begun to come forward, calming down fights and organising hunting parties. Clarke, Bellamy and Octavia were there, of course - they knew what to expect from newly emerging societies - but there was also a woman in her late twenties and a middle aged man, Sasha and Walter, who were good at dealing with the crowd of Wonkru members.

Everyone was assigned tasks so that we could establish a new compound as quickly as possible. Most people were working on the wall that would surround the entire camp or building cabins to live in, modelled around the one that Clarke and Madi had made. We needed to house 1200 people, which frankly seemed like a near impossible task. We were getting there with cutting down trees and stripping them, but it was going to take a lot of work. It was a bloody good job that we had a ton of grounders to help us do it. They were used to this type of stuff, they’d done it all those years ago to survive. Others were out hunting, gathering nuts and berries, or looking after the children who were too young to work.

Monty pulled me out of bed, much to my disappointment. We got dressed quickly, and headed for the pergoda, which was where we had been eating meals in: it was large enough to house decent sized groups of people. This morning, Monty and I were on serving duty with Clarke and Bellamy.

They were laughing between themselves as we walked in, standing very close to each other. It was the first time since we had reunited that they weren’t ignoring one another. I’m not exactly sure what had changed, but Clarke had gone from avoiding him at all costs, to smiling up at him with shining eyes.

“Hey guys, did you sleep well?” I asked as we came over and picked up some spoons. They jumped apart almost immediately as they heard my voice.

“Yes, thanks,” Clarke replied awkwardly, jumping a foot away from Bellamy when she saw us. “What about you guys?”

“Well, we didn't actually  _ sleep _ that much, but it was pretty good,” Monty said, winking over at me.

“Monty!” I gasped, slapping his shoulder, and I could feel my cheeks flush. Yet, I couldn't mask my giggles.

I could hear Bellamy chuckle as he walked over with a massive pile of bowls that we’d taken from the bunker. He put them down in front of us, and we began serving breakfast for the kids first.

Madi came up by herself at the end of the line, her face lighting up when she saw us. I couldn’t help but notice she wasn’t talking to any of the other children, but it really wasn’t my place to say.

“Hey guys!” she piped up.

“Morning Mads,” Bellamy smiled back. It was cute how he acted around her, after only knowing her for a short amount of time. Clarke was practically her mother now, and I guess Bellamy was her father, at least they acted that way.

I spooned porridge into her bowl, she thanked me, and headed off to sit at the back of the tent. I looked back at my friends and decided that, if all of my mornings were like this from now on, I was going to be happy.

**Madi:**

Settling into a life with more people than just Clarke was a bit weird at first. I’d dreamed of living with all her family and friends and seeing new people everyday, but it was definitely an adjustment. After Clarke was shot, I had spent every minute by her side. So did Bellamy. Neither of us wanted to leave her alone, as we still didn’t know who had the means or the motive to cause her harm. Out of the bunker for all of a few hours and already there was chaos. It seemed like a distant memory now, being in Polis, as life was starting to race forward here in Shadow Valley. 

I was grouped with the other children to strip the twigs and small branches off the trees that were being used to build cabins. I guess the only downside to not being in the bunker was that I didn’t have any friends. All the other kids were in tight knitted friendship groups already, and although there were a couple of familiar faces between them, nobody really gave me a second thought. 

I continued pulling twigs off in silence, tree after tree. The others stayed together, laughing and talking companionably as they worked, but I found myself straying further and further from them. I could still see the main group, but it was nice to not have to listen to a constant string of whispers and giggles. 

“Hey, you’re Madi right?” I heard a voice come from behind me. I turned around quickly, startled. I didn’t think anyone else was in this area of the woods, but I guess I was wrong.

“Yeah, that’s me,” I said, smiling nervously. Standing a few feet away was a boy around my age, maybe one or two years older than me. He had dark brown hair that looked like it hadn’t been cut in a while, so it fell messily over his forehead. He had a curious expression on his face, and a mischievous glint in his hazel eyes ; he reminded me of Bellamy. He was quite a bit taller than me, so he looked down as he smiled back.

“I’m Luca.” he said. He looked almost nervous as he tried to laugh off the awkwardness in his abrupt arrival.

“Hi, Luca. Can I help you with something?”

“Oh, no. I just saw you were over here by yourself so I came to keep you company. Is that okay? Cause I can go if you just wanted to be alone or-”

“No it’s alright,” I replied, butting into the middle of his rambling, “Thanks for thinking of me, nobody else has really done that.”

“It’s okay. So, tell me about yourself.”

I smiled - a real smile, for once - and began to tell him stories about growing up with Clarke. He was a good listener, and didn’t seem to mind when I rambled on and on. Instead, he seemed genuinely interested. It was nice to have someone my age to talk to, a friend. He then told me about him and his family. His mother died when he was only 2, and his father didn’t make it into the bunker. He and his older sister, both from Trikru, had been watched by Indra whilst they were down there. Having someone to relate to was nice, about having no blood parents anymore, but someone who was kind enough to take you under your wing and care for you. I decided that I liked him, and I hoped that he liked me too. I mean, not  _ like _ like, but as friends. Yeah, friends. 

Talking to Luca meant that time passed really quickly, and before I knew it, us kids were being called in for dinner. We walked to the pergoda together and sat down next to each other for supper. He introduced me to his friend Rex, who also seemed nice. We all talked and laughed all throughout dinner, and carried on until Bellamy came in to collect me.

“Come on, Mads, time to go,” He said, smirking when he saw me sitting with two boys. I had to stifle an eye roll. he was obviously getting the wrong idea. 

“Okay, Bell. Bye guys, I’ll see you tomorrow.” I gave them a wave as I left the mess hall, and they both waved back as Bellamy led me back to Clarke’s cabin. 

I shared a room with Clarke, and he was still sleeping in the living room with Echo. Monty, Harper, Raven, Murphy and Emori also stayed in various rooms, and everybody else from the bunker was sleeping outside in tents and lean-to’s until we built enough cabins.

“Looks like you’ve made some new friends,” he nudged me as he led me into the house.

“Their names are Luca and Rex. They’re in my work group, and have been really nice to me.”

“Well, you look happy. I’m glad you’re fitting in.”

“Me too.” I said, and I really was.

That night I went to sleep with a smile on my face.


	16. The Other Woman

**Raven:**

I giggled as Murphy led me through the forest. His hand grasped mine, pulling me along as we weaved in and out of the trees. We slowed to a halt about 200 metres from camp, and he pulled me in for a kiss immediately, sliding his arms around my waist and holding me close. 

“Wow, a little desperate this evening, are we?” I smirked against his mouth.

“I’m always desperate when it comes to you, Raven.”

I laughed and pressed my lips back against his. I liked spending time with him, just the two of us, where nobody was there to tell us what to do. I felt truly free, free from the burdens of the world we lived in. It was a nice change.

But despite the feeling of freedom, I also felt guilty. Really guilty. I had been running around with Murphy behind Emori’s back for years now. She was one of my closest friends, and I felt horrible for doing this to her. I knew all too well what it's like to find out about the other woman, and now I  _ was _ that woman. However, even the constant pit of guilt in my stomach wasn’t going to stop me from being with Murphy. I needed him. 

A few years ago, on the ship, I went through a bad time. There were moments when the darkness took over and I fell into the huge pit of depression that I just couldn’t escape by myself if I tried. But Murphy had been there for me, reminding me that I was not alone, that people did care about me. I had to give him a chance.

“Come on, I have something to show you,” he said after a while, leading me ahead to a small clearing.

Moonlight filtered through the leaves around the area, and cast a silvery glow across the grass. My eyes fell on a checked red and white blanket that lay in the middle and was adorned with pillows. Candles were carefully arranged at the corners, illuminating the darkness that was falling over the woods.

“You did this for me?” I gasped. He looked down, blushing.

“I thought you could do with a break, you know, with all of this rebuilding human society stuff. You’ve been working so hard, and I wanted to do something for you.” 

I slid my hand into his, intertwining our fingers.

“It’s beautiful, Murphy.”

He grinned, finally meeting my eye.

“Well, come on then, people are going to notice their pillows are missing soon,” he said, gesturing towards the blanket. 

“John Murphy, do you mean to say that you took those pillows from innocent people?” I asked in mock annoyance.

“I’m not saying anything.”

I laughed and we settled into the pillows together, my head on his shoulder and his arm around me. It was then that I noticed the sky.

The sun had finally set, and stars were scattered across the dark, velvety blue. They were gorgeous, and I was suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. Stars almost seemed normal, living in space for as long as we had, but there was something about seeing them from the ground that really hit different. Maybe it was the stars, or maybe it was the warm presence next to me. I just felt different with him, I felt whole. Sure, we had gotten off to a rough start, but now he was one of the most important people in my life.

“The night sky is so beautiful.” I breathed.

“I guess it is, but I know things that are better,” I could feel him smirk in the darkness.

I smiled, despite how cheesy it was. “Murphy, I-”

“Yeah, Bellamy has been looking smoking hot recently. I reckon he’s hooking up with Clarke, though... there goes all of my hopes and dreams.”

I slapped his shoulder but I couldn’t stifle my giggles; he always knew when to crack a joke, no matter how stupid it was. I turned to face him, and took in the incredible view... I was no longer talking about the stars. He looked down at me and took my hand in his.

“I love you, Raven. I really do. You know that, right?”

My lips brushed against his, and I cupped his face in my hands.

“I do,” I whispered against his mouth.

He wrapped his arm around my waist and kissed me back, and in that moment, nothing mattered but the two of us. I moved my hand slowly onto the back of his neck, pulling him in deeper. His one hand remained on my cheek, whilst the other moved down to my waist, and then spiralled around my back. Our kisses began to grow more desperate. I straddled his lap, pushing him down into the snowy white pillows and intensifying the heat that was building between us. He pulled away for a second, pushing a lock of my hair behind my ear.

“Are you sure?” He asked, looking at me with more love than I had ever seen in my entire life.

“Very.” 

**Murphy:**

I ran a hand through my hair, trying to tame it, and watched Raven as she pulled her t-shirt back over her head. When she saw that I was looking at her, she smirked before playfully poking me in the stomach.

“You’re gonna regret that,” I joked, pulling her hips towards me so she fell onto my lap.

“Oh, am I now?” she smiled and leaned in to kiss me again.

She was so beautiful. 

I felt horrible for doing this behind Emori’s back, but if I didn’t do something about my feelings for Raven, I felt like I would explode. I loved them both, I really did. I knew I couldn’t have them both, that wasn’t fair on either of them, but I had to spend time with both of them for my own sanity.

“Come on, we better get back before they notice that we’re missing,” she told me. She climbed off of my lap and pulled me up, tilting her head back in the direction we came from. I liked spending time with her like this, it felt like we could conquer anything.

We strolled back to camp hand in hand. But once people began to come into view, she unwrapped her fingers from mine and awkwardly shuffled away. She looked so nervous with other people in sight. I hated that it had to be like this, that she had to feel that way.

“So, let’s get our story straight for if and when Emori asks us why we went for a walk,” she was looking at me expectantly.

“Right. Uhh, about that…” I stammered.

“You did tell her we were going out, right?” She demanded.

“Not exactly,” I replied, not meeting her eyes.

“Murphy!” she scolded, quiet enough that nobody around heard her, “You promised me you would tell her we were going to be together. I mean, not necessarily what we were doing whilst we were together, but that’s not the point. I can’t feel any worse about what we’re doing than I already do, I don’t-”

“Raven, you’re rambling again,” I let out bluntly.

“Yes Murphy, I’m bloody rambling again. I ramble when I’m annoyed at you!” She yelled, getting louder.

“Look, Raven, I’m sorry okay, I didn’t think it was such a big deal. I know that you asked me to tell Emori we were hanging out, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I hate lying to her, I thought it would be better if I just didn’t say anything. I have feelings too you know!”

“And yet you’re the one who gets everything you want out of this.”

I was mad at her for overreacting. No I wasn’t. I was mad at her because she was right. I should’ve told Emori.

“Raven. Please just hear me out okay,” I put my hand on her arm, and she flinched. It hurt me to see that I had broken her trust, but I had to explain myself. “I don’t know how much longer I can keep up the whole ‘being friends’ act.”

She turned to me and looked straight into my eyes, her gaze not wavering. I swallowed.

“I have feelings, deep feelings, for both of you. I don’t know what to do. If I’m with one, then I lose the other, and I won’t be able to survive that.” I pleaded.

“Well, looks like you’ve got some shit to deal with then.” She turned and walked away from me, not even glancing back. I tried to grab her wrist, but she just shrugged me off and picked up her pace.

I stared as she turned the corner and left. God, I’d really screwed up. My mind wandered back to an hour ago, when I was having alone time with Raven, and it felt magical. Didn’t look like that would happen again any time soon.

A yell left my throat as I punched the nearest tree. I felt my knuckles split but I didn't care, I just had to distract myself from the flow of guilt and despair that ran out of me. I could feel myself sinking, until I ended up on the floor, my back against the tree and my knees pulled to my chest. 

Then I heard approaching footsteps, and hastily wiped the blood that had started to pool on my knuckles.

“Murphy, are you alright?” It was Kane.

“Yeah, I’m good. How about you?” I asked, trying to be polite and not too suspicious.

“I think I’m going to take a walk,” He said, nodding his head as if his mind had just agreed with his mouth. “Tell Abby that’s where I’ve gone if she asks.”

“Okay, sure thing man.” 

He walked off into the forest and left me swamping in my sadness.


	17. Dancing and Drinking

**Octavia:**

The alcohol burned my throat as I downed yet another shot of moonshine. It had been a while since I’d had time to just let loose - years, actually - so I was definitely grabbing this opportunity. Monty had made a few buckets full of moonshine to celebrate our first month out of the bunker, and a bonfire had been constructed. The memories of the delinquent parties were sharp in my mind, but I brushed them all away soon enough, letting the alcohol take control.

I scanned the crowd, taking in the grounders who were all milling around the bonfire. Groups of men and women were standing together, talking and laughing, and a few of the older children were trying to sneak some moonshine, before being chased away. I couldn’t help but smile at one girl, about seventeen, with long dark hair that fell around her shoulder. She was joking and flirting with a few boys, and I saw my younger self in her. I scoffed at myself as soon as the thought crossed my mind, but it was true. Yet, I hadn’t truly let myself love someone since Lincoln died. Sure, there was Ilian and a few hookups in the bunker, but I didn’t love them. The only man that I loved was Bellamy, but I’d loved him long before meeting Lincoln, and he was my brother. 

As I looked back around to the makeshift bar, I noticed that a group of guys had taken seats just a few metres away from me. The man in the middle muttered to Monty, who slid a shot down the table to him. He picked it up and looked at it, as if he was debating whether or not he was going to drink it. Eventually, he brought it up to his lips, and downed it in one go. He started coughing and spluttering, and I couldn't help but laugh. His friends were laughing too, but they soon got distracted and approached a group of girls, leaving him to regain his breath. 

“Are you alright?” I sat down next to him, making sure that he wasn’t going to die on me or anything.

“I’m good,” He said, letting out another cough, “This stuff is a lot stronger than I thought it would be.”

“Well, it's alcohol, what did you expect?” I joked.

“All alcohol is like this?” he asked. I let out another laugh, but he continued looking at me, waiting for an answer.

“Oh, you’re serious,” I remarked. He nodded, and I beckoned for him to come and sit next to me.

“Monty, I’ll have 3 of your finest moonshine shots please!” I yelled, “Oh, and 3 for my friend…” I paused. God, I’d been silently making fun of this guy for the past 5 minutes and I didn’t even know his name, what was I doing? He was cute though, I’ll give him that.

“Levitt,” He finished for me.

“My friend Levitt,” I repeated. 

As asked, Monty appeared with 3 shot glasses.

“Go easy, Octavia,” Monty teased, “I don’t need your brother on my back, I’ve only just escaped him!”

I let out a slightly drunk giggle and batted my hand at him.

“Don’t worry about me, Green,” I said, turning back to Levitt. That was a nice name, Levitt. I think he was from the ark, I’d heard the name in Camp Jaha too. Obviously worth something as he managed a spot in the bunker.

“Cheers, Levitt,” I remarked, holding my glass up to him.

“Cheers,” he said back, clinking our glasses together.

**Bellamy:**

Finding time to spend with Clarke was hard. I used to enjoy leading this camp together, just as we always had, but now I’d much rather spend time alone with just her. Anytime that I was away from her my heart physically ached, derived from the lack of her touch. I found myself in the med bay more often than I’d like to admit, even if I just had a small scrape or cut. Before I would have just brushed it off, but now I wouldn’t pass up the chance to see her face.

I was watching the others celebrate from a distance. I didn’t feel like going over there, nor did I particularly want to. I was perfectly content sitting on this tree trunk, thinking about how my life had ended up like this.

“You know, Bell, you’re missing one hell of a party,” Echo piped up, having appeared at my side.

I didn’t look at her, instead, I just shrugged. I didn’t want to deal with this right now. I’d been avoiding her ever since my kiss with Clarke. I was planning to break-up with her, but she didn’t know that. She didn’t even know that there was a problem in our relationship. The problem being, she wasn’t Clarke.

“Hey, are you okay?” she asked, rubbing her hand up and down my shoulder.

“Yeah, fine.” I huffed, not helping the situation at hand.

“Bell,” she pressed, lowering her hand to be on top of mine. I shook her off and stood up swiftly.

“I’m going to get a drink.” 

I couldn’t keep doing this, it was tearing me apart from the inside. 

As I reached the table where Monty was handing out moonshine, I saw her. She was dancing with Madi and Harper, out by the bonfire. A grin lit up her face as she spun to the upbeat tune that blasted out of Jasper’s MP3 player. The wind ruffled her blonde hair, and her cheeks were flushed pink. I couldn't take my eyes off her. 

“Keep it in your pants, big brother.” I spun around quickly to see Octavia behind me, smirking, a drink in her hand.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” I lied.

“Suuuuure,” She slurred. 

“How much have you been drinking? Maybe you should slow down a little,” I said, taking the drink from her hand.

“I haven’t had  _ that _ many shots, I’ve only had  _ three _ .”

I raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, maybe it was more than three but I deserve it,” she giggled. I smiled - her laughs were very infectious. 

“It’s alright, just make sure you look after yourself, O.”

“Yeah, yeah, I will.” She called, already walking away. I watched her join Clarke and the others, all four of them dancing wildly. They looked happy. That’s all I could ever want for them to be happy. My heart surged with affection as I saw Clarke take Madi’s hand and spin her around so that her hair flew out behind her. I knew that I loved Clarke, but the love I was beginning to feel for this little girl, for her little girl, was new. I had often imagined what it would be like for us to be a family. Together. That’s what I wanted.

“Bellamy? Do you copy?” Miller’s voice crackled out of my radio, snapping me out of my thoughts. 

“Yeah, I can hear you. What’s up?” I replied quickly.

“Uh... you might want to see this.”

My heart started beating quicker. Was something wrong?

I looked back at Clarke. She looked so happy and carefree... If something was wrong then I didn’t want her to know just yet.

“I’ll be right there.”


	18. Newcomers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was written before the prequel came out (if it ever does, fingers crossed) so some of the plots might not make sense. Obviously this is just us making stuff up now, based on the backdoor episode in season 7 and our own imaginations.  
> Also, there are a few OCs introduced in this chapter, we decided that Sinnek is pronounced like snek hehe.
> 
> Thank you so much for 2500 hits!!!!!

**Bellamy:**

Miller was waiting near the gates when I arrived, along with a few other guards. 

“Bell? There you are,” He said, walking over to me.

“Is everything okay?” I asked.

“Well… I’ll let you see for yourself,” He said evasively. 

He led me over to the open gates, where Indra was standing, and that was when I noticed two boys and a girl huddled together in the darkness. All of them had matted brown curls around their head and they were shivering - the ripped clothes they were wearing didn’t seem to be doing that well at keeping the cold out. The girl had the same brown eyes and tanned skin as one of the boys, while the other guy had blue-grey eyes and a lighter complexion. I stared at them. Other people? That certainly wasn’t what I had expected to see. 

“Who are they?” I murmured, not taking my eyes off of them.

“We have no idea. I’ve never seen them before, so they can’t be a part of Wonkru,” replied Indra.

“And they’re definitely not Skaikru,” added Miller.

“But there aren’t any nightbloods we don’t know about, right?”

Indra shook her head. 

“And there weren’t any other bunkers or something?” I said, desperate to make sense of the situation. 

“Not that I know of, and we looked everywhere before Praimfaya hit.”

I shook my head, trying to make sure I wasn’t imagining the three people just outside the gate. My mind was full of questions. Who were they? Where were they from? Why were they here? How had they survived the death wave? 

I sighed. Clarke was definitely going to need to know about this. 

\-----

“Hey, Bell!” Clarke grinned when she saw me. She was swaying gently to a slower song, her arm around Madi. I smiled back, unable to stop myself despite the situation. “Are you having fun? I would have some moonshine, but I have to look after Madi, so you’ll have to have an extra shot for me,” She laughed.

“Clarke,” I said quietly. “Can I talk to you quickly?” 

Her eyes grew alert quickly, and she seemed to realise something was up.

“Yeah, sure.” She looked over at Harper, who was dancing with Monty. “Hey, Harper, can you keep an eye on Madi for me?” Harper came over quickly, Monty following - someone else must have taken over at the ‘bar’- and took Madi’s hand. 

“Of course, Clarke.” She smiled at Madi, and Clarke turned her attention back to me.

We walked to the edge of the crowd, and as soon as we were out of earshot, she started questioning me.

“What’s wrong? Has something happened?”

“Nobody’s died if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Okay, good. But you’re still tense, what’s the matter?”

I took a deep breath. “There are people, Clarke.  _ Other _ people.” I said.

“What?”

**Clarke:**

Whenever we met anybody new, my mind automatically went into defense and saw them as a threat. We’d blindly trusted too many people, and from that, we learned never to take your eyes off newcomers. 

All 3 of them were in handcuffs - a precautionary measure - as Bellamy, Miller, and Indra led them towards the dying light of the bonfire. We had made the decision to hold them around the gates until the party was over, not wanting to worry the rest of the camp. 

Around the fire sat Monty, Harper, Octavia, Echo, Emori, Raven, Murphy, and Mom, worry and confusion etched across their faces. There was a weird vibe, especially between Murphy and Raven, but that was a problem for another time.

“So, tell us who you are, why you’re here, and what you want from us,” I demanded when Bellamy, Indra, Miller, and the newcomers had finally taken a seat on the tree stumps across from us.

“My name is Kai,” the taller of the guys started, “This is my sister Archa,” he said, pointing to the girl, “And our friend Sinnek.” he finished, gesturing to the smaller man by his side. They both nodded their heads in my direction as if to confirm that’s who they were.

“And why are you here?” I asked again, pressing for an answer.

“We mean you no harm, all we ask for is food and shelter.” the girl, Archa, concurred.

“After the radiation wave hit, we were left with nothing. Everyone we knew and loved was dead. We used the last of our supplies to try and find other people that had survived and well, here we are.” Kai explained.

So they’d come from afar and somehow survived Praimfaya. Great, because that’s just what we needed.

“How, may I ask, did you survive the death wave?” I heard Bellamy ask from next to me.

“Umm, well...” Archa trailed off and looked at the other two. I turned to look at Bellamy, who was equally as apprehensive as I was.

“We don’t exactly know.” Kai admitted, “The only thing that was different about us than everyone else in our clan was our blood. That’s what we’ve put it down to, but we don’t know for sure.”

“You’re natblidas.” I said, nodding.

“You know about nightblood?” Sinnek asked.

“Yes we do,” Bellamy replied before I could open my mouth again, “But could we go back to what you said before, about your clan?” 

“Fayakru. That’s what we were called. It wasn’t much but it was home.” Sinnek said.

“Where did you come from? We haven’t heard of any other clans before.”

“Based on my limited navigational skills, I think we came from about 200km southwest of here. And based on what you just said, I can assume that you people are what’s left of the coalition.” Archa spoke up.

So they know who we are, that's also great. I turned back to Bellamy, who looked across to Octavia, who glanced at Miller and Indra, who both looked back to me. None of us knew exactly what to say to that.

“Well, that depends,” Octavia said, “What exactly do you know about the coalition?”

They clearly knew enough about us to depict who we were. Well, at least Archa did. They had to know something or had some connection to the grounders, to Polis, to the commanders. Especially if they all had nightblood.

“Not too much. But there's a legend that our clan leaders used to tell us.” Kai said.

“Tell us,” Raven spoke up, breaking the silence of those who were listening in.

“Well, back when Earth blew up - the first time - few people survived. You probably knew that, because, well, I’m guessing you’re all descended from those people. There were some leaders, Callie and August, who just kind of took charge. The people eventually split off into their own groups, with their own leaders, but with Callie and August in charge of those leaders. There were 13 clans, Fayakru being one of them.” Archa said.

“Turns out our leader didn’t exactly like Callie and August, so we broke off and went our own way, leaving the 12 clans of the coalition, led by a natblida with the flame in their head.” Sinnek went on.

“Our clan traveled far away from the others, and that’s where we’ve been for a hundred years.” Archa finished.

Silence stretched between the group for a few moments, all of us soaking in this new information.

“Well, if you are who you say you are, you’re welcome to stay,” Bellamy said. I stared at him, surprised. “Under watch to begin with, of course, we can’t just let them roam free wherever they want to go,” He added quickly.

“But you better watch your backs, we don’t take well to traitors,” Murphy warned.


	19. Lost in the Woods

**Abby:**

Of all the things that we could have come face to face with after we left the bunker, other people were never something we’d ever thought of seeing. I almost didn’t believe Clarke when she pulled me away from the bonfire and told me that 3 strangers had shown up at the gates.

They really just wanted shelter from us. They just wanted to join the little community we had going on here. I’ll hand it to them, if they were lying, their story was very thought out and believable. The first thing we’d done was ask members of each clan if they had ever heard a legend like theirs before. Surprisingly, most had. Each clan had slightly different details to the story, but the basis was there. A group of people broke off from the original coalition, and now, the survivors had made their way back.

Miller had sent the three newcomers to a tent and situated guards all around them. It was necessary until they earnt our trust. If they ever earnt our trust. Something just seemed off about them, but I couldn’t decide what it was.

Everyone was beginning to disperse to their tents. Only a handful of people were still awake, and none of them were sober enough to pay attention to the talk with our new arrivals. I headed to my tent and burrowed into the sleeping bag immediately, falling into a deep sleep.

I woke with a start, sweat beading on my forehead. Another nightmare. It was horrible, my mind had been forcing me to replay the image of Clarke lying lifeless in the hospital bed over and over and over. I woke up most nights, and instinctively rolled over onto my side, expecting Marcus to pull me close and stroke my head and mumble that everything was okay. But all I felt was the cold, hard floor of the tent. I rubbed my eyes and sat up, and sure enough, I was alone. 

My mind raced, automatically assuming the worst but I forced myself to calm down and think about it methodically. He was probably taking a walk to clear his head. I lay back down and tried to go back to sleep, however, my mind wouldn’t slow down and let me drift off, so eventually, I unzipped the opening of the tent and stepped into the cool night air.

“Hey, Miller,” I called out as I approached the gates where he was on night duty, “Have you seen Marcus?”

“No, sorry Abby, I haven’t,” He replied.

“Oh okay. Thanks anyway.”

It seemed weird that he wasn’t around. I could understand if he wanted to avoid partying with a bunch of children. But then I realised that I hadn't actually seen him since Thursday, three whole days ago. I had been too busy working in the hospital to see him in the day time, and too bone weary at night to check if he had actually come to bed. I was starting to worry. What if something had happened to him? If there had been a whole other clan we had no idea about, who knows what other dangers there were out there?

Dangers, I thought to myself. But was there really anything that bad out there? Clarke and Madi had survived just fine for 6 years. Nothing outside those gates could harm us, because there was nothing outside. There was nothing outside, but what about inside? Then it hit me.

I ran towards the tent the grounders were staying in, fury and fear rising in my chest. Indra grabbed my arm and stopped me.

“Abigail you can’t go in there. Your daughter’s orders.” Indra spoke sternly to me.

“I don’t care!” I yelled back, struggling against her grip, trying to break free.

“Abby, calm down. What on earth has gotten into you?” Miller came running over.

“I knew we couldn’t trust them!” I screamed.

  
  


**Clarke:**

It was lovely to be alone with Bellamy again, just the two of us. Warmth spread throughout me as his lips pressed insistently against mine, even though it was cold in the shadows of the forest. I leaned upwards and put my forehead against his, but he didn’t loosen his hold. Instead, he pulled me even closer, and before I had time to catch my breath, his lips were back on mine. I felt like I was melting into his arms, losing myself in his embrace. He tasted like joy, and joy tasted better on Earth.

I was surprised my senses still worked, but they did, and I heard a distant noise of what sounded like yelling. I pulled away from him abruptly. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked, looking concerned.

“I heard something. I don’t know what it was but I swear I heard something,” I whispered. Bellamy’s brow furrowed, and I could tell he was listening intently as well now.

“I knew we couldn’t trust them!” A yell rang out from the distance, and I immediately knew there was trouble back at camp. Another fight? Guess we’d have to go sort that out before it escalated. 

“Come on. We should get back anyway,” Bellamy sighed. 

“Yeah, okay. Let’s go before anyone dies,” I joked. 

He kissed my temple and took my hand in his. We strolled to camp, fingers intertwined, laughing, and talking together. The last few moments of peace we would be getting for a while.

“I can’t believe this! What have you done with him?!” Somebody was screaming as we got closer. Well, that was a new one. 

When we finally emerged from the trees, I gasped.

“Mom? What’s going on?” I said. 

She was yelling at the three new grounders, her face flushed and her fists clenched. 

“What happened, Abby?” Bellamy moved to stand next to me, and he sounded just as surprised as I felt. 

“They’ve taken Marcus, that’s what!” She yelled.

“What? When?” I asked, my eyes swiveling between my raging mother and the trio of new grounders. 

“We didn’t do anything!” Sinnek said indignantly.

“Well then, how do you explain the fact that he disappeared the moment you three arrived?” Mom shrieked. “He’s gone, he’s gone,” She shouted, her voice cracking. “And he’s probably  _ dead _ .” 

“We said, we don’t know what happened to him!” Archa yelled back.

“What’s going on?” Sasha cried, emerging from her tent. I clutched Bellamy’s arm, knowing things were going to get ugly. I was only just starting to notice that people had woken up, and they were gathering around in small clumps, muttering. I realised that they had no idea who these people were. 

“You made a mistake letting them stay!” Mom spat in the direction of Bellamy and me.

“Letting who stay? What’s happening, Clarke?” Sasha asked, now standing at the front of a large group of angry, tired, and confused members of Wonkru.

Bellamy squeezed my hand before letting go and moving over to stand on a log.

“Okay, everyone. You’re probably confused, so I’m going to tell you what’s happening. Three people arrived at our gates today.” He said, gesturing to Kai, Archa and Sinnek. “They’re from Fayakru, something you’ve probably only heard about in legends, or might not have heard about at all. But they are real, and they were seeking shelter so we allowed them to stay on the condition they didn’t cause any trouble.” he addressed the crowd.

“But they  _ have _ caused trouble!” Mom started up her yelling again, struggling against Indra’s grip.

“We’ll look into it, Abby. If they’re guilty then we will come up with a suitable punishment. But if not, then they’re staying here, guarded until they earn our trust.” He said.

“But-” 

“And that’s final,” Bellamy said firmly before she could protest anymore.

With that, Murphy appeared out of his and Emori’s tent. His hair was disheveled, sticking up at all angles, and I stifled a laugh despite the seriousness of the situation. 

“Why in god’s name is everyone yelling this early in the morning!” He bellowed, clearly annoyed, and drawing the attention of everyone.

“The prisoners have taken Marcus!” Mom cried before anyone else could get a word in.

“Marcus? Abby are you out of your mind. He went for a walk this morning,” Murphy groaned, “He told me to tell you if you asked,” He exclaimed, the annoyance in his voice becoming more and more clear.

“Well, would you look at that,” Bellamy mumbled under his breath, only loud enough for me to hear. 

“Alright, everyone back to sleep! We’ve got work to do in the morning.” 


End file.
